Alright, I admit it, I’m obsessed.

I always feel the need to unleash my reading/bookish thoughts to you, my followers, because I feel you are the only ones who can relate! Today, although I read the book about two months ago, The Fault in Our Stars is completely on my mind again! I blame the release of the movie trailer today! I am so excited for the movie and to see how the scenes I interpreted in my head actually pan out on the screen! I know this blog is supposed to be for creative writing and I promise it will get there again at some point! Please don’t lose faith in me!

However, if you do, I must say, “It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

Yes, I had to do it.

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Hello Readers!

I apologize greatly for not posting to this blog in a while. I have been very busy with life and work, and now that a new semester has started, school too. Although it looks as though I will not be able to write creatively, until I find downtime somewhere, I have a bit of good news! I have another blog that I had to start recently for another class. This blog is not for creative writing, but for academic writing. I understand it is not the same, but I will be posting there much more often than here as the semester progresses!

ONE LAST THING: I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS BLOG OR CREATIVE WRITING. I JUST NEED A BREAK FOR RIGHT NOW TO FOCUS ON MY ACADEMICS! I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND!

Here is the link to my new blog =====> http://woodh2014.wordpress.com/ and I hope you check it out!

Another Sleepless Night

First day of my Spring Semester is tomorrow, but first I have work from 5am until 9 am. I should be asleep right now, but my anxiety is so great that I haven’t slept at night in a few days. All that does is bring me anxiety attacks that wake me up. I literally have to pass out from exhaustion to go to sleep, reluctant as I am with even that. I know what you’re thinking, what every sane human being is thinking, Holly, it’s your Junior Spring Semester, how can you possibly still be nervous about school? Let’s put it this way, I went through such a bad Fall Semester of my Sophomore year mentally that I had two options: 1.) Drop out to save myself 2.) Go from full-time to part-time and try and fight my mental demons. I suppose there was a 3rd option, I could have stayed full-time and lost my sanity completely. However, I tried to stick it out and push myself with part-time. The past two semesters part-time have gone well. However, my parents, who are currently funding what my student loans do not cover, are fed up and have made me go back on to full-time for this semester and all semesters after it until graduation. I understand that they don’t want me to stay in college forever and have pressure from my fellow aged relatives who have only stayed 5 years or more in college to get Master’s degrees. However, those things do not help my anxiety about falling into another pit of despair. It was very hard to get out of the last time and I am so worried it will happen again and I wouldn’t be able to get out this time around. You can say I’m overreacting, but with an anxiety disorder everything feels real. The same sense of danger that you get when walking on a dark street alone at night is the same feeling I get when walking into college, everyday. Things might not turn out as bad as they seem, but it still feels like it will. I wish someone could understand what I am going through. It is so frustrating to have people simply dismiss the intense feelings that I struggle everyday with. I don’t know where this post is even going. Maybe it was a useless rant or maybe someone out there will read this and learn to be more accepting, tolerant, and patient with someone with a mental illness. I understand that mental illness has a certain stigma attached and even having to classify myself in such a category is hard to do in such a public setting. However, to be honest, writing this out is helping me. I can’t guarantee I will sleep tonight, but I can feel some anxiety releasing as I type. I’m not sure anyone will get anything out of this, but I hope it helps someone. Thank you for reading.

Divergent Trilogy

I just finished reading the Divergent Trilogy. I’ve never had another series grab a hold of me and occupy every ounce of my being with such force, not even my beloved Hunger Games series. Right now, I am in a similar state as a student aboard who fell in love and now has to go back home and return to normal life as if nothing happened. I feel so empty. Yet again, I completely, absolutely, positively recommend this series! In addition, I find myself unable to write anything of true insight for a second time, I really have to learn to blog after the energy of a finished book has settled! However, I will leave you with a quote from the series!

“Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other.”

Happy reading, dear followers! 

The marks humans leave are too often scars.

Hello Faithful Followers! I apologize for my lack of posting on my blog, but I’ve been going through a difficult time that has left me unmotivated to write. However! Last night to distract myself from things, I stayed up until 6 am reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for the first time and I was blown away. This was my first experience with John Green’s writing and although it took a little bit of warming up to get to used to his style, I ended up really enjoying it! The novel is so insightful and had me look at life in such a different way! I wish I could write something more profound about it, but it may have to sink in for a while before I can. All I’m saying is hey, if you have read it, please comment below because I would love to discuss it, and if you haven’t read it, I would strongly suggest giving it a read. Hopefully I will be up to writing soon, but in the meantime, I will be reading all I can for leisure before the strictures of academia overtake all my time.